I went to back-to-school night last night and balled my eyes out in the car as I drove home. It was an ugly cry too. I know because I caught a glimpse of myself in the rear view mirror, which of course made me cry even harder. What is it about watching yourself cry that makes you cry more?
As I parked at the curb in front of my house I pulled myself together because I didn’t want my whole family to witness the mascara running down my cheeks. Then I sat in the car and had a come to Jesus moment with myself. It was a moment of honesty that I knew I had to deal with.
Every once in a while over the past few months I have felt lonely. Gut-wrenchingly lonely.
Seven months ago we made a big move. We packed up three kids, a dog and a U-haul and drove through 4 states to live an adventure. We waved goodbye to best-friends and best-family and hugged each other knowing that adventures are good for the soul. And all of this has been good and soul-nourishing until last night, when I walked into back to school night and realized that I knew no one. No friends to make idle conversation with, no one to sit next to, no friends to de-brief with about what we thought about the teachers and my beloved friend Jen who has a kindred heart and knows my secrets is 1500 miles away.
Cue the tears in the car.
What I realized is that I have been so wrapped up in caring for the physical and emotional needs of my little tribe that I have forgotten to care for myself. And it became glaringly obvious to me that having girlfriends was my most pressing need.
See, I am firm believer that we need each other, we women.
We need our girl friends to be a sacred circle of support. Trusted friends who enjoy your flaws and who love your kids as much as their own. We all have so many worries as moms, and too often we are left on our own without the benefit of a supportive community. And that is never good. We need one another to say, “me too,” “I totally relate” and “don’t stress so much about potty training.”
We moms have big purpose.
We are a tribe of sage women who are using hope and fruit snacks to move mountains.
Our bodies incubate new heart beats and we birth life into the world with our breath.
We are mothering the motherless; caring for each other and drawing wide the circle of our family.
We are feeding bodies and clothing souls.
We are the tradition makers and the story keepers.
Our chant is love.
You and me and the mom at the park that we don’t know yet, we are all companions on this journey. We are the sisters who because of place and time have the opportunity to raise the world together.
I am so grateful to be in the trenches alongside you, to share a good cry, pick up your kids from school or sit and be quiet when there are no words.
I am excited to build a new circle of friends to journey with and I plan on being the one to jump in, take a risk and be vulnerable enough to start a conversation with someone who looks like they have it all together but may feel like I do, like they need a friend.
How about you?
Do you need a community of friends, soul-sisters to journey alongside of on this beautiful-hard path of mothering? I know a great community of women who would love for you to join us.