“I have seeds in my balls? How do they come out? Surgery? IS IT WITH A NEEDLE?!” The sex talk went great, guys. Clearly I disarmed the situation like a champ. It all started when we got a new dog. …
The Truth About Sexual Intimacy
My husband, Jason, and I have a complicated history with sexual intimacy – betrayal on his part and an eating disorder on mine. Oftentimes, I feel like we are stumbling along in this area. It’s true – there are still …
Stop Waiting for Your Sexual Desire to Return
Most of us know why we’ve lost our desire. No time, too tired, too busy, we’re already “over-touched,” there’s always a kid in the bed, after-kid-bedtime is about the only quiet time in the day to regroup – the list …
The Judges in Your Bedroom
For a population famous for being committed monogamists, Christian mommies sure have a lot of people in their bedrooms with them. I’m not talking about other partners here, but the looming judgments of important figures like mom, dad, grandma or …
In the Light: Healing Sexual Intimacy After Porn, Sexual Addiction and Betrayal
This is part of a series of posts about journeying through a husband’s addiction to porn. I recently shared about what the sexual intimacy healing process has looked like for my husband, Jason, and I in a marriage marked by betrayal …
In the Dark: Healing Sexual Intimacy After Porn and Infidelity
I’ll never forget the first time my husband, Jason, and I had the opportunity to speak together to a group of couples at a retreat deep in the mountains of Colorado. We were there to share our story and more …
Understanding Your Sex Drive: When There Is Never a Good Time for “Business Time”
If you haven’t seen “Business Time” by the comedy band Flight of the Conchords, please go watch it right this minute. It’s a parody of boring, routine married sex, and it makes me so happy to laugh and relate. One …
My Husband Chose Porn and Other Women: Now What … ?
When I married my husband Jason, I believed that he only had eyes for me. Deep down, I felt chosen. Chosen by him to do this thing we call life. Together. Forever. My dream slowly started to crumble when I …
Behind Closed Doors: A journey through marriage with pornography & sexual addiction
Jason and Shelley Martinkus bravely shared their story in the Summer 2014 issue of Hello, Darling magazine. The issue of the magazine is called “The Privilege of Femininity.” We discussed a myriad of topics that shape and inform our understanding of …
How Often Are Healthy Couples Having Sex?
The Question: How often are healthy couples having sex? The Answer I’ve often wondered why the less-is-more people don’t pair up with other less-is-morites, and why the more-the-merrier people don’t pair up with other more-the-merriers. I haven’t met one couple …
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