Parenting during a pandemic, crises, tragedies and politics is all I’ve really known. I had a 6-month-old when COVID hit. So instead of sleeping in or starting a new hobby during lockdown, I was Lysoling diaper deliveries and cry-praying for our safety through every walk.
Parenting in the midst of turmoil and grief felt frustrating. I had to keep their worlds turning when the rest of the world stood still. It felt like a burden, but now, I see it as a beacon.
When life feels too scary to handle, I still have to get breakfast ready. If I don’t want to get out of bed, someone will usually want to snuggle with me in it. We’re going to the park and having tickle attacks during the worst news days. When things across our globe are spinning out of control, I’m still mixing formula and kissing boo boos and watching silly YouTube videos.
Grief reminds me to be grateful for the moments I usually take for granted.
Daily, I see the juxtaposition of so much good and so much evil. The sweet moments that I find refuge in throughout my day remind me there’s also really good things happening everywhere … like baby open-mouth kisses and newborn chest naps and big sis babbling.
The daily acts of parenting give me hope that the balance is swinging toward good and hope that these little souls I’m tending to will tip it toward the good guys. I don’t have control over their futures or the choices that they make, but I do have control over the majority of today. I’m going to use it wisely.
When the world ushers me into despair, I will use it as fuel to disciple. I’m using every bit of grief and anger that I feel to inspire me to raise my kids with a heart that burns against injustice. I’ll intentionally diffuse love and morality into every minute of their day. I’ll fight on my knees, desperately praying for this world, this day, and this upcoming generation.
I don’t have it all figured out, and I’m anxious much more often than I should be. But, I physically have to put one foot in front of the other, no matter the state of the rest of the world, FOR the future state of the world. There’s something comforting in that.
Praying with you and in it with you.